Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
