I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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