Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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