I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.