i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
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I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
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Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just pee around me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The fabulous human disaster: it is him