i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
But break dance skills will only take you so far
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.