Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
