He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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