I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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