Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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