You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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