if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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