why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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