Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We need to get me chipped asap
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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