If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
