No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
