just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
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I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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