can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
