...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
