sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She's JV to your varsity
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
