Taylor Swift is so right about you.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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