listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize