My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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