he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
