I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
