The maid of honor just puked.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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