I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
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No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
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Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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