No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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