return my video game
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
