Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
