she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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