Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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