remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
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