Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
