This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
