Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
