hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
