how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
