Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
