so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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