And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize