If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Sorry my hands just texted you
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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