i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
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She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
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Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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