I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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