i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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