Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
