it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
