I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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