guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
not ubering you a puppy
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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