Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
