4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
my poor anus
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
