You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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