Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
our cab driver is having phone sex.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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