Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
