I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize