drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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