Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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