I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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