He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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