just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Randomize
