Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
