I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
