belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
why do cheetos always look like penises
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
