That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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