i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
