Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
