You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize